Musings on Connection

Hello Friend,

The other day, I received a simple invitation.

An email with the title "Will you join me?"

It was from my friend (and hairstylist) Megan. A couple of years ago, she launched a new and inspiring practice. She dared to leap, and it’s been brilliant to watch her grow. Through her hair studio, she offers care to folks. She creates a space in which you are seen, a place where you are able to experiment and take risks. A place to explore how you express yourself.

In this invitation, Megan shared another of her practices. The intentional walk. She offered a prompt:

Take a walk

in any direction

with the intention to observe kindness in the world.

Remember what you see.

And share what you witness.

My early morning walks often lead me to Brooklyn Bridge Park. And so the other morning, I set out on a walk to a familiar location with a new intention – observing kindness in the world. As I headed north, I noticed not only the cold air and the soft, peach sky but also the people passing by. I realized in the early mornings that I most often cross paths with two categories of people.

People who are running and people with their dogs. (Of course, there are also those who intersect these two groups — the runners with dogs).

The runners are focused, sometimes with headphones; they breathe deeply, their footsteps move quickly, and their bodies rush by.

Those with dogs often move a bit slower. Pausing based on the whims of their pups. A sniff, a stop, a break, a bark.

When the runners whoosh by, I often find the urge to cheer them on. It's incredible to get up early and go for a jog. And to do so when it’s 30 degrees is even more admirable. I want to clap and urge them on just as I would if I were watching a race and was standing on the sidelines.

But I don't.

I don't want to scare them.

Or offend them.

I'm afraid of being weird.

And it struck me that one of the biggest barriers to kindness is fear.

The fear of inconveniencing someone.

The fear of rejection.

The fear of saying the wrong thing.

The fear of coming on too strong.

The fear of getting hurt.

But if I've learned anything over the last few years, navigating periods of grief, loss, and difficulty, I’ve found I always appreciate when someone reaches out.

Even if the words aren't quite right, I am grateful for the intention.

Even if the call comes at a busy time, I am grateful for the thought.

Even if the enthusiasm is overwhelming at times, I am grateful for the energy.

I saw a graphic recently that I keep coming back to regarding getting out of our "comfort zones" or safety zones.

(Safety > Fear > Learning > Growth)

I found it to be a helpful reminder that to experience growth, we have to face things that are scary or overwhelming at times. We have to move through periods of discomfort to experience growth.

It occurred to me that this same approach could be applied to how we connect with each other. It can be tempting to stay in the safe zone, doing what is known and familiar. But by taking little risks, by navigating through the muddy waters of insecurity, we can find moments of connection. We can see each other and support one another.

(Safety > Fear >Connection > Community)

Through these small actions, we begin to form connections, and I believe these connections are the foundation of community.

And so I’m inspired to build upon my friend Megan's prompt.

I invite you

to go on a walk

with the intention

of offering kindness in this world.

Perhaps it's saying "good morning" to someone you pass by. Or buying coffee for the person behind you in line. Maybe it's offering a smile or even cheering for someone out on a morning run.

If you take this walk, I would love to hear what you experience (and Megan would too!)

✌🏻+💗