A practice of cultivating joy

Hello Friend,

Last week I introduced you to George, my life-loving, curious sidekick on morning walks. When we welcomed George into our home, we were exploring the possibility of adopting him. Through the foster-to-adopt program with the rescue, you have a chance to “test-drive” a new dog experience. After many conversations, my family decided we would only foster George rather than adopt him. It was a difficult decision and not one we came to lightly.

I found ease in knowing that there wasn’t a “right” decision or a “wrong” decision, rather I was making a choice around what areas of my life I wanted to expand. Adopting George would mean that parts of my life surrounding him would get much larger, like going on walks, following a specific schedule, and being at home quite a bit more. Whereas, with fostering, this would be a temporary shift and then there would be a return to a more familiar life and the flexibility I’ve developed in the nearly 11 (!!!) years of living with my current pup, Winston.

And so, on Friday, I got an email from the dog rescue informing me that George had a meeting scheduled with a potential adopter. I sat for a moment, letting this news sink in. It was an email I had been expecting and, at some points, awaiting eagerly (caring for a new pup is no joke!). But when this email arrived, I was met with a range of emotions. I noticed my phone screen get blurry as tears filled my eyes. I felt sadness. I felt a sense of contraction.

I've often heard, and I imagine you have to, that there is a benefit to being faced with an element of a decision to see how you feel about it (e.g., flipping a coin and seeing how that decision lands). And so I used this moment to check in on our decision with George.

I explored the sadness that was present and revealed that its evidence wasn’t that I needed to change my mind and try to hold onto George. Rather, it reflected the love that had developed in a relatively short time and the feelings around saying goodbye to this new companion.

I took a few breaths, and the tears subsided.

In the midst of these hard feelings, I also found myself thinking about this potential adopter. This human who had reached out to the rescue to meet George.

I wondered.

How long had they been looking for a dog and what did they feel when they saw George's profile on the rescue's website?

Did they screenshot photos of him to easily show a friend or coworker?

Had they shared with their family their plans to meet this new pup?

Were they readying their home for this new companion?

I started to think about the range of emotions this person might be feeling.

Excitement.

Happiness.

Joy.

And I noticed that I, too, started to feel a shift in my emotional landscape.

There is a Buddhist concept, Sympathetic Joy, which is the practice of connecting to and expanding another’s good fortune or happiness. As I thought about this potential adopter, I started to experience some of the joy I imagined this person might be feeling. I felt a warmth around my heart. Connecting to this other person's happiness served as a soothing balm to some of the hurt I was experiencing at the moment at the thought of saying goodbye.

Perhaps the next time someone in your life shares some good news, can you be with their feeling of joy?

Is it possible to amplify the goodness that is being shared?

And if so, what shifts do you experience within your own interior landscape?

✌🏻+💗